I Miss More Than I Catch
Hipster girl #1: Wow, how did you get your hair that kind of texture? Looks great.Hipster girl #2: … Oral sex. –Bedford Ave platform
View ArticleHey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners
Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek! –8th Ave & W 55th St Overheard by: Fred Daubert Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar. –Uptown 6...
View ArticleJust Tell Him No Dessert
30-ish woman #1: So he’s never went down on you — no big deal. Young guys are like that.30-ish woman #2: But he’s twelve… –Times Square
View Article“Yeah, I like to eat out every once in a while.”
Coffee guy: Good morning, sir. Sir: Medium coffee. Coffee guy: Milk and sugar, sir? Sir: Yes, please. Coffee guy: …you go down, sir? Sir: Excuse me? Coffee guy: You go down? Down the town? –Roach...
View ArticleHer Parents Will Be Pleased
Dude #1: So that new girl is pretty hot. Dude #2: I’d like to kiss her vagina. Closed mouth ’cause i’m respectful like that. –6 train
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners with Two Percent Body Fat
Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest! –MoMA Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society. –NYU...
View ArticleNY’s Free Papers: When the New York Post is Just Too Classy
AM New York guy: Man, it’s like I was tryin’ to say– Metro New York guy: Nah, tell Shorty he needs to eat that pussy. –Hanson Place & Atlantic Avenue, Fort Greene Overheard by: Frank Smith... Source
View ArticleAccording to My Life-Coach
Black guy: You know what I need to do? I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train. I got head three times on the train already. Girlfriend: Shhh! Black guy: That’s what I need to do. I need to eat yo’ pussy...
View ArticleShe Mixed It Into His Corn Flakes
Woman #1: … So his mom taught him. Woman #2: His mother taught him. Woman #1: Yeah. Woman #2: To eat pussy? Woman #1: Yeah. Woman #2: That’s disgusting! Woman #1: He’s really good at it, though. Source
View ArticleSoylent Green Is Wednesday One-Liners!
Girl on cell: So I told her I didn’t think George Washington was a cannibal. –Barnes & Noble, Staten Island Overheard by: Marina Tricorico Asian girl to friend: You know, if he really likes you,...
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